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A screen time contract for a 13 or 14-year-old: what to agree, and what to let go

At 13 the apps open up and the bedroom door starts closing. The rules you wrote at 11 feel babyish to them. You are not ready to let go of all of them.

Written by the Kairoo team · Published · Updated · 8 min read

A teenage boy explaining his point to his mum on the living room sofa, his phone face down on the cushion between them

Key fact

41%

of UK parents of 13 to 15-year-olds find their child’s screen time hard to control

Source: Ofcom, 2026

In short

Let your teen write more of it, hold firm on sleep and safety, agree social media and privacy openly, and review it every term.

At 13 or 14, a screen time agreement works best when your teen writes more of it. You keep a few firm lines on sleep and safety and let go of the rest. Control from outside gets harder at this age. In Ofcom's 2026 research, 41% of parents of 13 to 15-year-olds said they find their child's screen time hard to control. Only 39% of 13 to 15-year-olds thought their own screen time was too high, against 57% of their parents. At 13, WhatsApp and most social media allow an account under their own terms. A UK ban on social media for under-16s is expected from spring 2027. Agree privacy openly too: checks your teen knows about, and fewer each year.

Key facts

  • 41% of parents of 13 to 15-year-olds find their child's screen time hard to control (Ofcom, 2026).
  • Only 39% of 13 to 15-year-olds think their screen time is too high; 57% of their parents do (Ofcom, 2026).
  • WhatsApp and most social media set 13 as the minimum age, and an under-16 social media ban is expected from spring 2027 (GOV.UK, 2026).

Parents often call it a screen time contract for teens. Kairoo calls it an agreement, because you write it together and both sign it. At 13 or 14 the old rules start to creak. "Phone in the kitchen at half eight" was fine in Year 6. Now the reply is that nobody else has to do that. Social media opens up at 13, the bedroom door closes more often, and you can no longer see much of what happens on the phone. An agreement for this age is less about rules handed down. It is about which lines you hold, which ones your teen sets, and how the deal changes as they grow.

What changes at 13 and 14?

Three things change at once.

The apps open up. WhatsApp's UK terms set the minimum age at 13. Most social media platforms set 13 in their own terms as well. Ofcom notes that the law does not require a minimum age; the services choose it. The UK Chief Medical Officers supported 13 in their 2019 advice.

The law is about to move. The government plans to ban social media for under-16s from spring 2027. Its fact sheet names Instagram, YouTube, TikTok, Snapchat, Facebook and X. Messaging services like WhatsApp will not be included. Nothing has changed yet. Read more about the under-16 social media ban.

Control from outside gets harder. In Ofcom's 2026 research, 41% of parents of 13 to 15-year-olds said they find their child's screen time hard to control. Parents watch less as children grow. Some kind of supervision falls from 98% of parents of 8 to 12-year-olds to 83% of parents of 13 to 17-year-olds. Teens also know the workarounds. Sixteen per cent of 13 to 17-year-olds said they know how to get round the controls parents set, and age checks. Five per cent said they had done it in the past year.

Do teens and parents see screen time the same way?

No, and the gap is widest at this age. Ofcom found 39% of 13 to 15-year-olds think their own screen time is too high. Among their parents it is 57%. That is the biggest gap of any age group.

So start from what you agree on. Most teens want enough sleep and time with their friends. Most parents want that for them too. The agreement is the place to write those down.

What should my teen decide, and what stays with me?

At this age, give away more than feels comfortable. Keep a few lines firm and explain them.

Let your teen set:

  • the times on weekends and in the holidays;
  • which games and apps they use, within age ratings;
  • the order of homework and screens on a school night;
  • how they ask for more time.

Hold firm on:

  • sleep. The UK Chief Medical Officers advised in 2019 that phones stay outside the bedroom at bedtime;
  • safety. Never meeting someone they only know online without a grown-up. Never sending, asking for or passing on pictures of anyone's body;
  • telling you. If something goes wrong online, telling you never costs the phone.

Research has a name for this balance. A 2008 review in Canadian Psychology (Joussemet, Landry and Koestner) separates autonomy support from permissiveness. Autonomy support means clear limits with reasons and a real say inside them. Studies of teenagers in the review linked it to doing better at school and in themselves.

How much privacy should a 13 or 14-year-old have?

More each year, agreed out loud. The ICO's Children's Code is the UK rulebook for online services used by children. It says services should show a child an obvious sign when a parent can see what they do. It also says a child's expectation of privacy grows as they mature.

The same idea works at home. If you plan to check the phone, say so in the agreement. Say what you would look at and why. Then do less of it as trust builds. There is more on this in should I check my child's phone?

What does an example agreement for a 13 or 14-year-old look like?

  • Screens stop at 9:30pm on school nights. At weekends I choose the time, up to 10:30pm.
  • At night my phone charges outside my bedroom. I use an alarm clock.
  • First things: homework and revision come first. I choose the order.
  • Apps: WhatsApp from 13, set up together, with groups set to contacts only.
  • Social media: one app we have talked about, with a private account. We look at this again when the under-16 rules start.
  • New apps and games: I tell you before I download something new. The age rating is the guide.
  • Asking for more: I can ask for more time with a reason. Up to 30 minutes at weekends.
  • Online: I never meet anyone I only know online without a grown-up. I never send, ask for or pass on pictures of anyone's body. I block, report and leave chats that turn nasty.
  • Privacy: no secret checks. If there is a real worry about safety, we look together.
  • If something goes wrong, I tell a grown-up, and I won't lose the phone for telling. Childline (0800 1111) is free too.
  • The grown-ups promise a reason for every no, the same rules at the table, and more freedom as trust grows.
  • Review: every term, and on my next birthday.

What if my teen won't sign it?

Ask what they would change. A teen who refuses to sign may be objecting to one line. Find that line and talk about it.

Offer a trial. Agree to run it for four weeks and then review it together. Keep your firm lines on sleep and safety, and give way on the rest.

Get more help if sleep, school or mood change a lot. The Chief Medical Officers noted that a change in behaviour can be a sign a young person is distressed. Talk to their school or your GP. Childline is free on 0800 1111.

You do not need to win every line. Hold sleep, safety and telling you. Give your teen the rest to write, and set a date to look at it again. The Family Digital Agreement takes about ten minutes and prints on two A4 pages.

Kairoo

An agreement your teen helped write.

In Kairoo you write it together and both sign it. Your teen can ask for more time with a reason, or ask for the agreement to change. Kairoo sees time and apps only, never messages, photos or location.

Download on the App Store Get it on Google Play

Your phone and your child’s don’t have to match. Kairoo works between iPhone and Android, and your child’s app is also available on iPad.

Or start with the free agreement · Free, no card needed.

Questions parents ask

Is there a screen time contract template for teenagers?
Yes. Parents often call it a contract. Kairoo's free Family Digital Agreement (kairoo.family/agreement.html) is the same thing: two A4 pages you fill in with your teen, sign together and print. Childnet's family agreement, from the UK Safer Internet Centre, is a shorter free option.
What time should a 13 or 14-year-old's phone go off?
There is no official UK time. The UK Chief Medical Officers advised in 2019 that phones stay outside the bedroom at bedtime. Ofcom's 2026 research found 56% of 8 to 17-year-olds with a smartphone have rules about using it at bedtime. Let your teen propose the time and hold the bedroom line.
Should I let my 13-year-old have social media?
Most platforms set 13 as their minimum age in their own terms; Ofcom notes the law does not require it. The government plans a ban on social media for under-16s from spring 2027, covering apps such as Instagram, TikTok and Snapchat. Its fact sheet says messaging services like WhatsApp will not be included.
Should I check my 14-year-old's phone?
If you do, agree it openly first. The ICO's Children's Code says online services should show a child an obvious sign when a parent can see what they do. It also says a child's expectation of privacy grows as they mature. Agreed checks, fewer each year, keep trust and safety together.
How much say should a teenager have in the rules?
A lot, inside a few firm lines. A 2008 review in Canadian Psychology (Joussemet, Landry and Koestner) separates autonomy support from permissiveness. It means clear limits with reasons, plus a real say. Teenagers who feel that support from parents tend to do better at school and in themselves.
How toHow do you write a family screen time agreement that actually holds?The researchShould I check my child's phone? What to look at, what to leave, and how to talk about itWhat's changingWhen does the UK's under-16 social media ban start, and what does it cover?

Sources

  1. Children and Parents: Media Use and Attitudes Report 2026, Ofcom, 21 May 2026
  2. Fact sheet: new rules to protect children online, GOV.UK, updated 18 September 2026
  3. WhatsApp Terms of Service (UK), WhatsApp, effective 17 August 2026
  4. Age appropriate design code, standard 11: parental controls, Information Commissioner's Office, checked 26 October 2026
  5. UK CMO commentary on screen time and social media map of reviews (includes the advice for parents and carers), UK Chief Medical Officers, Department of Health and Social Care, 7 February 2019
  6. A self-determination theory perspective on parenting, Joussemet, Landry and Koestner, Canadian Psychology 49(3), pages 194 to 200, 2008
  7. Access to technology for different ages, NSPCC, checked 26 October 2026
  8. Childline, NSPCC, checked 26 October 2026

Last reviewed 26 October 2026. Kairoo checks these pages when the rules or the research change; if you spot something out of date, tell us at hello@kairoo.family.