Should screen time be a reward, or taken away as a punishment?

Key fact

Over 3 in 4

parents of 12 to 13-year-olds in a large US study took screen time away as a punishment

Ten past seven, and the bedroom still looks like a jumble sale. One evening it's "tidy it and you can have an hour on the console". Two days later, after a row about tone, it's "right, no phone till Friday". Most parents have said both, and both seem to work for a day or two. Then the price of the hour creeps up, or the ban ends and nothing has changed. The same questions come up on parent forums every week. Should a five-year-old have to earn screen time? Is it fair to take a 12-year-old's phone at bedtime?

What does the research say about screens as a reward or a punishment?

The largest study comes from the US. Researchers looked at 10,048 children aged 12 to 13, with data collected between 2019 and 2022, and published the results in 2024. A little over three-quarters of parents took screen time away as a punishment. Almost 40% offered it as a reward.

Children whose parents used screens this way had more screen time and higher scores for problem gaming. Parents who set limits and kept an eye on screen use saw the opposite pattern: less screen time and fewer problems.

This is a link found at one point in time. It cannot show that the rewards and punishments caused the extra screen time. Families who already struggle with screens may simply reach for them more. A much smaller Canadian study of 62 children under five found a similar link in 2018.

Why can a screen reward backfire?

The best-known evidence on rewards is older. In 1999, three psychologists pooled 128 experiments on what rewards do to people's own interest in an activity. Expected rewards for doing or finishing a task reduced how often people chose to do it later, once no reward was on offer. Tangible rewards tended to do more harm for children than for college students. Praise and positive feedback went the other way and raised interest.

For a family, the activity at risk is the one being rewarded. If reading earns an hour of gaming, the research suggests reading may start to feel like a job done for pay. Meanwhile the screen becomes the prize.

Two experts writing for Internet Matters, the UK online safety charity, in October 2025 give both sides. An early-years technology adviser says a screen reward teaches children that screens are "the ultimate prize". He warns that the reward that works today often has to grow tomorrow. A psychologist on the same page is less strict. She says more entertainment time can be a reward, and the trouble starts when technology is taken away as a blanket punishment for everything.

Should you take the phone away as a punishment?

Sometimes it is the right call. If the problem is the phone itself, such as gaming at two in the morning, a limit on the phone fits the problem. The trouble starts when the phone goes for everything: cheek, a poor test mark, a messy room. The punishment then has no link to what went wrong. The lesson becomes about the phone, and the behaviour you wanted to change gets lost.

A bedtime rule is different from a punishment. If every phone in the house charges downstairs at night, nobody is being punished. That is just how nights work in your home.

Why might my child stop telling me things?

In December 2025 the Children's Commissioner for England published a guide for parents built on what children told her office. Children said they feared losing access to their phone, or having restrictions imposed without explanation. Because of that, they would often avoid telling parents about even the most worrying things that happened online.

This is the hidden cost of the phone as a punishment. A child who lost their phone for a week after a row may keep quiet the next time something online frightens them. The Commissioner's advice is to set clear ground rules together and always explain any decision to limit or remove a device.

Does the American Academy of Pediatrics say not to use screens as a reward?

You will often read that it does. We could not find that wording on the AAP's own pages when we checked on 25 October 2026. The AAP's family site, HealthyChildren.org, says something narrower:

• Its 2024 page for parents of school-age children warns against screens becoming a child's go-to when they are "bored or frustrated with homework".
• Its page on reward charts says rewards should be meaningful to the child, and the child should help choose them. It says to avoid penalties and demerits, because they "can be humiliating or discourage your child from even trying".
• Its page on screen-time tantrums says children accept limits more easily when the rules make sense, especially if they had a voice in making them.

Is it too strict to make my child earn screen time?

Many families use an "earn your screen time" chart, and it can help for a while. It is clear and easy to see, and a younger child can watch the points add up. HealthyChildren.org supports charts with points and small rewards for school-age children.

The trade-offs are the ones the research points to. The chart makes screens the top prize in the house. Chores can start to feel like work done for pay. The price of an hour can become a new thing to argue about every evening. The AAP's own chart advice ends with a step that is easy to miss: phase the chart out gradually once the habit has stuck.

If you use a chart, three changes help:

• Make the prizes something other than screens.
• Give points for effort as well as results.
• Decide in advance roughly when the chart will stop.

What works better than rewards and punishments?

Screens as part of the routine. First things come first: homework, chores, practice. Then screens start, at the same time each day. There is still an order, but it is the same every day and was agreed in advance, so nothing is up for bargaining. The Internet Matters adviser suggests the same shift, making screen time "routine rather than reward". For the homework version, read homework before screens.

Consequences agreed in advance and linked to the problem. Decide together, on a calm day, what happens if the agreed time runs over. Keep the consequence close to the problem. Late-night phone use means the phone charges downstairs for a while. Rudeness gets dealt with as rudeness, with a conversation and an apology. Explain the reason every time.

The research on parenting supports doing it this way. A 2008 review in Canadian Psychology describes "autonomy support" in four parts. Give a reason for the rule. Recognise how your child feels. Offer choices where you can. Keep pressure and control to a minimum. The review is clear that this is different from being permissive. It is about how rules are set and held.

Rewards for effort that have nothing to do with screens. Specific praise has the strongest evidence, such as "you stuck at that maths for half an hour". For bigger goals, pick small rewards together, such as choosing Friday's dinner, a later bedtime at the weekend or a trip to the park.

What if nothing seems to work?

If every evening ends in a row about the phone, or behaviour is a worry at school too, talk to the school or your GP. If you are worried about something that has happened to your child online, the NSPCC helpline is on 0808 800 5000.

The rule is the easy part. Holding it at the moment the time runs out is harder, so read what to say to "five more minutes". To put all of this into one written plan, read how to write a family screen time agreement.

Kairoo

First things first, then screens. Agreed once.

In Kairoo, you and your child write the agreement together and both sign it. It can put homework or chores first, and their phone holds the agreed limit with a reason for every no. Extra jobs earn coins, which buy Roo new looks or become pocket money if you switch that on.

Your phone and your child’s don’t have to match. Kairoo works between iPhone and Android, and your child’s app is also available on iPad.

Or start with the free agreement · Free, no card needed.

Questions parents ask

Is it bad to use screen time as a reward?

It tends to backfire over time. In a 2024 US study of 10,048 children aged 12 to 13, almost 40% of parents offered screen time as a reward. Using screens as a reward or punishment was linked to more screen time and more problem gaming. That is a link, and the study cannot prove cause. A 1999 review of 128 experiments in Psychological Bulletin found that expected rewards reduced interest in the rewarded activity. The homework or chore can start to feel like work done for pay.

Should I take my child's phone away as a punishment?

Use it rarely, and only when the phone is the problem, such as gaming in the middle of the night. In December 2025, children in England told the Children's Commissioner they feared losing their phone, or restrictions with no explanation. That fear often stops them telling parents about worrying things online. The Commissioner advises setting ground rules together and always explaining any decision to limit or remove a device.

Does the American Academy of Pediatrics say not to use screens as a reward?

We could not find that wording on the AAP's own pages when we checked on 25 October 2026, although it is often quoted. The AAP's family site, HealthyChildren.org, says to avoid letting screens be a child's go-to when they are bored or frustrated with homework. Its page on reward charts says rewards should be chosen with the child and warns against penalties and demerits, which it says can be humiliating.

Is it too strict to make my child earn screen time?

It is a common approach and it can help for a while, especially with younger children. The trade-off is that screens become the top prize in the house and the price can keep rising. HealthyChildren.org, the American Academy of Pediatrics' family site, says a reward chart should be phased out gradually once the behaviour has become a habit. If you use one, make the prizes something other than screens.

What should I reward instead?

Effort, with specific praise first. The 1999 review of 128 experiments in Psychological Bulletin found that positive feedback raised people's interest in an activity, while expected tangible rewards lowered it. For bigger goals, HealthyChildren.org suggests small rewards the child helps choose. They can be as simple as picking Friday's dinner or a trip to the park.

Read next

Sources

1. Associations between media parenting practices and early adolescent screen use, Pediatric Research 97, 403-410 (Nagata and colleagues), 5 June 2024
2. A meta-analytic review of experiments examining the effects of extrinsic rewards on intrinsic motivation, Psychological Bulletin 125(6), 627-668 (Deci, Koestner and Ryan), November 1999
3. Children say parents in the dark about online experiences, as Children's Commissioner launches new guide on online safety, Children's Commissioner for England, 18 December 2025
4. Should I use screen time as a reward?, Internet Matters, 23 October 2025
5. Kids & Screen Time: 5 C's Questions for School-Age Children, HealthyChildren.org (American Academy of Pediatrics), 30 April 2024
6. Positive Reinforcement Through Rewards, HealthyChildren.org (American Academy of Pediatrics), 6 November 2023
7. Screen Time & Temper Tantrums: Helpful Tips for Parents, HealthyChildren.org (American Academy of Pediatrics), 13 March 2024
8. A Self-Determination Theory Perspective on Parenting, Canadian Psychology 49(3), 194-200 (Joussemet, Landry and Koestner), 2008
9. Mothers' and fathers' media parenting practices associated with young children's screen-time: a cross-sectional study, BMC Obesity 5, 37 (Tang, Darlington, Ma and Haines), 3 December 2018

Last reviewed 25 October 2026. Kairoo checks these pages when the rules or the research change; if you spot something out of date, tell us at hello@kairoo.family.